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		Neal's comments on Testimony In late August and early September of 2002, I had a creative explosion of sorts. It was wonderful and pretty crazy at times. I remember driving to the airport to pick up the Limited Edition SNOW Box sets from customs and singing 'It's all I can do' into my handheld tape recorder. The main challenge I could see ahead was how to fit it all on one album. There were numerous slow grand themes, several ballad ideas and loads of instrumentals that seemed almost endless. But, as my mind drifts back, that wasn't the beginning of the Testimony album. I think it started first during the mixing of the 'V' album. I think that's when the idea for 'Colder in the Sun' first came to be. In fact I was surprised when I recently watched some raw footage of the 'making of SNOW' and saw that some of the ideas I kicked around with Spock's Beard were from 'Colder in the Sun'. I'm glad they didn't make the SNOW album because they fit so perfectly on this one. Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud here. I'm going to listen to the album now and tell you a few things that come to mind about writing each song and what it means to me. The Land of Beginning Again - This song came later than the rest. I was in the middle of the demo/writing phase in mid/late October and my kids were participating in a poetry reading with the other kids at my church. So I went to enjoy the cuteness. One little girl got up and read a poem called 'The Land Of Beginning Again' and I just started crying. I didn't even know why. Something about starting over and wiping the slate clean just touched my heart and really surprised me. One reason why I was so emotional is at that time we had just made our announcement that I was leaving the band, and I was hurting and feeling bad about it and wished it didn't have to be that way. Then the next day I wrote this song. To me, it represents the hope for salvation and renewal that's inside us all. California Nights - On the morning of the day that the album was going to be mastered (which means it's over!) I thought, "wait. It shouldn't say 'if I played that terrible Eagles' song'. I should say 'that tired Eagles song'. I would've ran in from my run and re-sang that one line and flew it in except that the rented gear had all been torn down and I couldn't. Not that I'm worried that Don Henly's going to be upset about it, just that it's not accurate. One unique thing about this album for me is that I really tried to make sure everything I say is completely true. So, just to set the record straight, 'Hotel California' is not a terrible song at all, I was just really sick of it. Ok, I'm glad I got that off my chest... Also, around the time I was writing this lyric, an old drummer friend of mine, Jon Shelly, told me about a time when we were playing in Palm Springs and I was going to go off with some scary drunk guys at 3:00 a .m. and he pulled me out of the car and saved me. It really brought to my mind how lucky I am to be alive after all the crazy things I did. Thank God and thank you Jon. Sleeping Jesus - Sometimes terrible things can bring great blessings. In early August my family and I were traveling from Little Rock Arkansas to Oregon and we got stuck in the Dallas airport for 12 hours because of a storm. I had my baby guitar with me so I began to play and I wrote the basics of Sleeping Jesus and that little theme between 'Moving in my heart' and 'I am Willing' there. You never know when a good one will come. I also remember when I was doing the demo of this song waking up really early, like 4:00 a.m., and feeling like the Lord was saying 'get up! I have something for you.....and bring your acoustic guitar!' Then I improvised that whole guitar jam part. The Prince of the Power of the Air - This song really captures the way I was living for a while. I think the line "You can think that you're doing just fine, but the creep's creepin' into your mind' really sums up what was going on with me at that time. I didn't realize how low I was getting. Other people could see it but I couldn't. Wasted Life - Long before I became a Christian or even knew anything about God, I began to see that my life was hopeless. I felt that separation. This would've been in the early 90's. My singer/songwriter career was nowhere and I was pretty miserable. This is when I first started to pray and ask for God's help. I think it's important to note how many years it took before he delivered me. All together it was about 8 years. So, don't give up! Sometimes he answers prayer immediately, other times it may be over the course of years. Break of Day - What I mean in this chorus (in case it's unclear) is that this is the beginning of the old dream (or the old man) dying and the beginning of a new day in my life. The second verse is about a time when I was doing a self growth course (one of the Landmark Education courses before they were Landmark) and something cracked in me and I must've cried for three hours straight! I didn't even know why. I just kept saying 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' and when I thought about it, yes, I was sorry to my parents but, who was I so sorry to? I didn't even know. I just knew I felt terribly sorry. Later I realized I was apologizing to God for having done so poorly with the life he had given me. Power in the Air - This skips around a bit. I was thinking of my days in the Eric Burdon band which was around '97 - '99. That's when I was starting to feel the spirit in church. And there were times when I felt an opening with God but then would go back to my old ways. Somber Days - I had an interesting experience while I was writing this lyric. I was thinking mostly of my dark valley times, but then at the end, at the 'If you're feeling down today' part, I had a vision of someone hearing it that is suicidal, and I felt that they needed to know God was real and that this song was going to help. That's where all the lines about 'all your suffering he has known' and 'help is on the way' are coming from. I don't know that I've ever had an experience quite like that before. Long Story - This is referencing a bunch of real life experiences that happened to me during the 'death valley' period of my life, which was about '91 to '95. I broke up with my girlfriend, moved out, and my car got stolen with all my gear and clothes in it. Then she got hooked up with a wealthy man right away and I was miserable. Then all my gigs started drying up...well, you get the picture. It's All I Can Do - This song tells of the despair I felt for so long. It really was all I could do to get up and go do a gig or whatever and just make it through. I remember sitting outside 'Chillers' in Redondo Beach CA praying for God to help me just get through the day and survive the gig. It's hard when your job is to entertain people and make them feel good when you're so unhappy. I believe God was with me and helped me through all of that even when I was deep in sin and despair. Transformation - This music to me is God bringing his wrath down on me forcing me to leave L.A. Sing it high - The first voice you hear in this song is Bro. Steve Farmer my pastor. That's his wife Sis. Becky Farmer singing 'Hold to that Rock'. The amazing thing is, I just took my mini-disc player to church and recorded some of the service on a Wednesday night, then chose a piece of audio and flew it into the song, and that's the way it landed! Notice that when I say 'Hallelujah', Bro. Steve says 'Hallelujah', and when I say 'Amen', someone says 'Amen'. Coincidence? Maybe. I sure was stunned by it though. By the way, I think that's my friend Mark Leniger saying 'amen'. I just want to say that it was the love of the people that drew me into the church. What a wonderful thing that we can be used that way and I pray to be able to love people unconditionally like that. Moving in my Heart - Cherie and I got married in Clark and Lynn Kearney's back yard. It's true. We've been great friends for years and he played bass in my old cover band 'Burlesque'. I Am Willing - This has perhaps my favorite moment on the album. When I say 'Let this be our great beginning' and the strings come in it just thrills my heart every time. I hope one day I can perform this album with a full orchestra. That would be the ultimate! In the Middle - I spent a lot of time at the altar (hours actually) trying to let go of everything I was attached to. I wanted to jump and let God have it but he kept revealing more and more things I was attached to in this life. I think the point is not that he'll take it all away, but that I needed to give it all up in order for him to work in my life and make it all so much better. This whole section along with 'The Storm Before the Calm' is about that inner struggle. Oh, to Feel Him - Then, finally he comes in in all his fullness! This song is about receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. I was so concerned about getting this album to be completely true and accurate that at the last minute I re-sang the 2nd verse. It used to say 'I never knew his freedom, but there I stayed, alone and afraid...' and I thought 'Hmmm...that's not entirely right....I was afraid, but I wasn't alone. The whole church was with me!' So I changed it to 'I caught a glimpse of freedom, and there I stayed, while the people prayed' which is SO much better. If they wouldn't have prayed for me I wouldn't have broken through and this album wouldn't exist. That's a fact. So I wanted to make sure to acknowledge and thank them for that. I also want to say that I believe this gift of the Holy Ghost is for everyone! Anyone who desires to have God working in their hearts and lives in a greater way can have it. It is for 'whosever will'! I also want to mention that when Mike Portnoy was recording his drum tracks, and the line 'I waved goodbye to my past and walked into the Kingdom' came up, he stood up behind his drums and said 'this is the whole album, right here'. That gives me chills to this day. God's Theme - Oh, I'm so grateful for this theme. That's why I used it so much. It just tugs at my heart in such a special way. Overture No. 3 - Inspired by the end of Beethoven's ninth, we wound up taking out a whole other part because it was played on synth and gave the whole piece a 'Switched on Bach' vibe. Nothing wrong with that but we wanted the real orchestra by itself. Maybe we'll add that part in the live version! Oh Lord My God - I wrote this on the way home from church one night. It's definitely inspired by some of the stuff I've heard on the Christian rock stations. NOTE: I tried to talk Mike out of that fill at the beginning of the bridge (I was SO wrong!) but he bought it from me for $50.00. He said 'I'll give you $50.00 to leave that fill', so I did. True story. The Land of Beginning Again - I know it's a little trite but I just had to end with this and say 'there IS a land of beginning again' because it's the truth. That's the good news. Thanks for listening and supporting me and my family through this time of transition. We love and appreciate you more than you know. Love, Neal news : live : biography : discography : audio : reviews : more Layout © 2003-2007 Mark Bredius : Content © 2004-2007 Bill Evans Media and Neal Morse

Neal's comments on Testimony

In late August and early September of 2002, I had a creative explosion of sorts. It was wonderful and pretty crazy at times. I remember driving to the airport to pick up the Limited Edition SNOW Box sets from customs and singing 'It's all I can do' into my handheld tape recorder. The main challenge I could see ahead was how to fit it all on one album. There were numerous slow grand themes, several ballad ideas and loads of instrumentals that seemed almost endless. But, as my mind drifts back, that wasn't the beginning of the Testimony album. I think it started first during the mixing of the 'V' album. I think that's when the idea for 'Colder in the Sun' first came to be. In fact I was surprised when I recently watched some raw footage of the 'making of SNOW' and saw that some of the ideas I kicked around with Spock's Beard were from 'Colder in the Sun'. I'm glad they didn't make the SNOW album because they fit so perfectly on this one.

Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud here. I'm going to listen to the album now and tell you a few things that come to mind about writing each song and what it means to me.

The Land of Beginning Again - This song came later than the rest. I was in the middle of the demo/writing phase in mid/late October and my kids were participating in a poetry reading with the other kids at my church. So I went to enjoy the cuteness. One little girl got up and read a poem called 'The Land Of Beginning Again' and I just started crying. I didn't even know why. Something about starting over and wiping the slate clean just touched my heart and really surprised me. One reason why I was so emotional is at that time we had just made our announcement that I was leaving the band, and I was hurting and feeling bad about it and wished it didn't have to be that way. Then the next day I wrote this song. To me, it represents the hope for salvation and renewal that's inside us all.

California Nights - On the morning of the day that the album was going to be mastered (which means it's over!) I thought, "wait. It shouldn't say 'if I played that terrible Eagles' song'. I should say 'that tired Eagles song'. I would've ran in from my run and re-sang that one line and flew it in except that the rented gear had all been torn down and I couldn't. Not that I'm worried that Don Henly's going to be upset about it, just that it's not accurate. One unique thing about this album for me is that I really tried to make sure everything I say is completely true. So, just to set the record straight, 'Hotel California' is not a terrible song at all, I was just really sick of it. Ok, I'm glad I got that off my chest...

Also, around the time I was writing this lyric, an old drummer friend of mine, Jon Shelly, told me about a time when we were playing in Palm Springs and I was going to go off with some scary drunk guys at 3:00 a .m. and he pulled me out of the car and saved me. It really brought to my mind how lucky I am to be alive after all the crazy things I did. Thank God and thank you Jon.

Sleeping Jesus - Sometimes terrible things can bring great blessings. In early August my family and I were traveling from Little Rock Arkansas to Oregon and we got stuck in the Dallas airport for 12 hours because of a storm. I had my baby guitar with me so I began to play and I wrote the basics of Sleeping Jesus and that little theme between 'Moving in my heart' and 'I am Willing' there. You never know when a good one will come. I also remember when I was doing the demo of this song waking up really early, like 4:00 a.m., and feeling like the Lord was saying 'get up! I have something for you.....and bring your acoustic guitar!' Then I improvised that whole guitar jam part.

The Prince of the Power of the Air - This song really captures the way I was living for a while. I think the line "You can think that you're doing just fine, but the creep's creepin' into your mind' really sums up what was going on with me at that time. I didn't realize how low I was getting. Other people could see it but I couldn't.

Wasted Life - Long before I became a Christian or even knew anything about God, I began to see that my life was hopeless. I felt that separation. This would've been in the early 90's. My singer/songwriter career was nowhere and I was pretty miserable. This is when I first started to pray and ask for God's help. I think it's important to note how many years it took before he delivered me. All together it was about 8 years. So, don't give up! Sometimes he answers prayer immediately, other times it may be over the course of years.

Break of Day - What I mean in this chorus (in case it's unclear) is that this is the beginning of the old dream (or the old man) dying and the beginning of a new day in my life. The second verse is about a time when I was doing a self growth course (one of the Landmark Education courses before they were Landmark) and something cracked in me and I must've cried for three hours straight! I didn't even know why. I just kept saying 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' and when I thought about it, yes, I was sorry to my parents but, who was I so sorry to? I didn't even know. I just knew I felt terribly sorry. Later I realized I was apologizing to God for having done so poorly with the life he had given me.

Power in the Air - This skips around a bit. I was thinking of my days in the Eric Burdon band which was around '97 - '99. That's when I was starting to feel the spirit in church. And there were times when I felt an opening with God but then would go back to my old ways.

Somber Days - I had an interesting experience while I was writing this lyric. I was thinking mostly of my dark valley times, but then at the end, at the 'If you're feeling down today' part, I had a vision of someone hearing it that is suicidal, and I felt that they needed to know God was real and that this song was going to help. That's where all the lines about 'all your suffering he has known' and 'help is on the way' are coming from. I don't know that I've ever had an experience quite like that before.

Long Story - This is referencing a bunch of real life experiences that happened to me during the 'death valley' period of my life, which was about '91 to '95. I broke up with my girlfriend, moved out, and my car got stolen with all my gear and clothes in it. Then she got hooked up with a wealthy man right away and I was miserable. Then all my gigs started drying up...well, you get the picture.

It's All I Can Do - This song tells of the despair I felt for so long. It really was all I could do to get up and go do a gig or whatever and just make it through. I remember sitting outside 'Chillers' in Redondo Beach CA praying for God to help me just get through the day and survive the gig. It's hard when your job is to entertain people and make them feel good when you're so unhappy. I believe God was with me and helped me through all of that even when I was deep in sin and despair.

Transformation - This music to me is God bringing his wrath down on me forcing me to leave L.A.

Sing it high - The first voice you hear in this song is Bro. Steve Farmer my pastor. That's his wife Sis. Becky Farmer singing 'Hold to that Rock'. The amazing thing is, I just took my mini-disc player to church and recorded some of the service on a Wednesday night, then chose a piece of audio and flew it into the song, and that's the way it landed! Notice that when I say 'Hallelujah', Bro. Steve says 'Hallelujah', and when I say 'Amen', someone says 'Amen'. Coincidence? Maybe. I sure was stunned by it though. By the way, I think that's my friend Mark Leniger saying 'amen'.

I just want to say that it was the love of the people that drew me into the church. What a wonderful thing that we can be used that way and I pray to be able to love people unconditionally like that.

Moving in my Heart - Cherie and I got married in Clark and Lynn Kearney's back yard. It's true. We've been great friends for years and he played bass in my old cover band 'Burlesque'.

I Am Willing - This has perhaps my favorite moment on the album. When I say 'Let this be our great beginning' and the strings come in it just thrills my heart every time. I hope one day I can perform this album with a full orchestra. That would be the ultimate!

In the Middle - I spent a lot of time at the altar (hours actually) trying to let go of everything I was attached to. I wanted to jump and let God have it but he kept revealing more and more things I was attached to in this life. I think the point is not that he'll take it all away, but that I needed to give it all up in order for him to work in my life and make it all so much better. This whole section along with 'The Storm Before the Calm' is about that inner struggle.

Oh, to Feel Him - Then, finally he comes in in all his fullness! This song is about receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. I was so concerned about getting this album to be completely true and accurate that at the last minute I re-sang the 2nd verse. It used to say 'I never knew his freedom, but there I stayed, alone and afraid...' and I thought 'Hmmm...that's not entirely right....I was afraid, but I wasn't alone. The whole church was with me!' So I changed it to 'I caught a glimpse of freedom, and there I stayed, while the people prayed' which is SO much better. If they wouldn't have prayed for me I wouldn't have broken through and this album wouldn't exist. That's a fact. So I wanted to make sure to acknowledge and thank them for that. I also want to say that I believe this gift of the Holy Ghost is for everyone! Anyone who desires to have God working in their hearts and lives in a greater way can have it. It is for 'whosever will'!

I also want to mention that when Mike Portnoy was recording his drum tracks, and the line 'I waved goodbye to my past and walked into the Kingdom' came up, he stood up behind his drums and said 'this is the whole album, right here'. That gives me chills to this day.

God's Theme - Oh, I'm so grateful for this theme. That's why I used it so much. It just tugs at my heart in such a special way.

Overture No. 3 - Inspired by the end of Beethoven's ninth, we wound up taking out a whole other part because it was played on synth and gave the whole piece a 'Switched on Bach' vibe. Nothing wrong with that but we wanted the real orchestra by itself. Maybe we'll add that part in the live version!

Oh Lord My God - I wrote this on the way home from church one night. It's definitely inspired by some of the stuff I've heard on the Christian rock stations. NOTE: I tried to talk Mike out of that fill at the beginning of the bridge (I was SO wrong!) but he bought it from me for $50.00. He said 'I'll give you $50.00 to leave that fill', so I did. True story.

The Land of Beginning Again - I know it's a little trite but I just had to end with this and say 'there IS a land of beginning again' because it's the truth. That's the good news.

Thanks for listening and supporting me and my family through this time of transition. We love and appreciate you more than you know.

Love,

Neal

news : live : biography : discography : audio : reviews : more

Layout © 2003-2007 Mark Bredius : Content © 2004-2007 Bill Evans Media and Neal Morse